


Do You Hear The People Sing?

by Twackycat



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anxiety, Cosette And Enjolras Are Siblings, Dancing and Singing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enjolras/Grantaire is the main pairing, F/M, Genderfluid Character, Grantaire Has Self-Esteem Issues, Grantaire is a Mess, Grantaire is self-destructive, Grantaire really likes musicals, Grantaire really likes singing, Grantaire sings instead of drinking, Hurt/Comfort, I'll be adding more tags as I go, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Misunderstandings, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Jehan, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Pining Grantaire, Singing, The other pairings are mostly background, These tags are in no particular order, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans male Marius, Wicked (Musical) - Freeform, genderfluid courfeyrac, lots of pining, nonbinary courfeyrac, so many songs from musicals besides Les Mis, throwing up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 09:57:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14186388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twackycat/pseuds/Twackycat
Summary: “You mentioned you wanted a drink. Do you still want a drink?” It pained Grantaire to admit it. He’d been doing so good recently; he hadn’t wanted anything in so long. Hanging his head, he nodded ever so slightly, and was immediately granted a smile from Eponine. “Then what song?”





	Do You Hear The People Sing?

Grantaire sat in the back corner of the Musain’s back room, watching his friends standing around chatting. Enjolras wasn’t there, and it stuck out like a sore thumb. He glanced at his watch again, he was thirteen minutes late to one of the meetings. Apollo was never late, he was usually at least thirty minutes early, it just depended on his schedule. R looked towards where Combeferre was leaning over a table with Courfeyrac, talking things over. Combeferre glanced up and caught Grantaire’s eyes. The man shrugged his shoulders, and shook his head. Standing up, Grantaire sauntered over to them, worry starting to creep into his mind. Where was Enjolras?

“I’ve been texting him throughout today, and he only answered once around noon.” Combeferre said this followed by a heavy sigh. Beside him, Courfeyrac looked up, and gave him a sympathetic smile.

“He probably got carried away by his most recent paper or something like that.” By now the rest of the group had settled down and noticed the distinct lack of their de facto leader.

“I’ll go look for him. You should probably start the meeting. He’ll be mad if you haven’t started by the time he gets here.” Grantaire offered as he already started towards the exit.

“Do you want any help?” Eponine perked up from where she was sitting next to Marius, who was completely ignoring her, off in his own little world.

“Nah. I’ll be fine. He shouldn’t be that hard to find.” Grantaire said this as he opened the door by backing out of the room. As he wandered down the stairs of the Musain, he hummed quietly.

Grantaire didn’t pay much attention to the customers in the main part of the café, only giving a casual salute towards Musichetta as she bustled past him, arms laden with a tray of drinks that were obviously for the ABC.

His mind wandered as he thought of where the blond of his dreams might be. As Courfeyrac suggested, he might be caught up on a paper, which could mean their apartment, or maybe the library. R stopped in his tracks as he pushed open the front door to the Musain.

His missing Apollo was right across the street. He was also being hugged by a very pretty, blonde haired young lady. R’s heart started pounding in his chest. He could stand watching his Apollo from afar, stoutly dedicated to battling for justice and equality for all. He didn’t think his heart could handle watching Enjolras falling in love.

As the two across the street pulled apart, Grantaire watched as his heart was torn from his chest. Enjolras leaned forward and deposited a kiss to the young woman’s forehead. Her smile seemed to light up the street, even as darkness seemed to pool in Grantaire, creating black tar where his heart had been, making it hard to breath.

He felt a bit like a pervert, watching the obviously smitten couple, and his eyes started to sting, warning him of the tears that were bound to come. R quickly turned around and opened the door to the Musain, desperately wishing that this was all a dream, but the nails digging into his right palm told him otherwise.

He glanced over his shoulder, catching one last glimpse of the couple. He watched as she stood on her tiptoes and pecked Enjolras on the nose. R’s gut twisted sharply, and he hurried into the building, immediately heading towards the bathroom. Before the door slammed shut, a bright, bell like voice floated through the air.

“I love you Enji.” Grantaire stumbled towards the bathroom as his lunch was determined to make a second appearance. He barely managed to slam one of the stall doors open before he lost his control and his lunch into the toilet bowl.

After a few seconds, his stomach settled marginally, and he realized that his knees stung from slamming into the ground. Pulling himself shakily back to his feet, he stumbled to the sink, grateful for the automatically flushing toilet. He stuck his head underneath the faucet, and slurped up a mouthful of water, swishing it around in his mouth for a second before spitting it out into the sink. Grantaire repeated the process a few more times, before actually drinking the water, hoping it might help the pounding headache that was starting to make itself known.

Deciding to make his way back to the rest of the group, and let them know where their leader was, Grantaire stumbled out of the bathroom. He wiped the excesses water off his face with the sleeve of his green hoodie as he thought about the best way to avoid Enjolras. His half formed plan to avoid all contact with Enjolras was immediately foiled when he nearly fell onto the person in question as he exited the bathroom. Enjolras grabbed his elbows, trying to prevent him from falling all the way to the floor. R’s face flushed as he looked up at the walking sculpture of Apollo, acutely aware of how his hands seemed to be burning his skin with how hot they were.

“I was sent to find you.” R immediately regretted allowing his mouth run unattended by his brain. Enjolras didn’t need to know that he was sent to find him. Even though his eyes were fixed firmly on the floor, Grantaire could hear Enjolras’ eye roll at his comment. Enjolras immediately released his stabilizing grip, and shouldered past him, heading straight to the back room. As Grantaire followed a few feet behind like a lost puppy, he realized that the blond probably thought he was drunk, stumbling around, face flushed, and spouting out dumb things.

Even though he knew he wasn’t drunk, embarrassment flooded him. The familiar want of a drink hit him heard, and he clenched his hands into fists, digging blunt nails into the indentions already in his right palm.  He followed silently behind the blond as they made their way up the stairs to the back room. Hopefully Enjolras wouldn’t pay any attention to his odd behavior. When Enjolras pushed open the door to the back room, a wave of greetings was immediately heard.

“We sent Grantaire to find you. We wert starting to get worried.” Courfeyrac spoke up from where they were sitting at the head table, giving a small wave as they did so.

“Sorry. I ended up having an unexpected meeting and it ran longer than I was expecting it to and I didn’t pay close enough attention to the time.” Enjolras spoke as he slung his bag off his shoulders, his arm jerking as the heavy weight strained his muscles. He deposited it gently on the table and started rifling through it, pulling out a slightly ruffled stack of paper, as well as his worn laptop.

Grantaire’s heart sank as he realized that Enjolras wasn’t going to tell the others of the young woman. His gut dropped like a brick as the thought suddenly hit him. How long had Enjolras been hiding this relationship? Had Grantaire ever even had a chance? Feeling like his entire world was collapsing around him. He sank down into the open chair next to Eponine and buried his head in his hands. Pining from afar was bad enough.

Eponine, ever the best friend started rubbing his back with one hand, and running her hand through his messy mop of black curls. He let out a sigh and tried to ignore his headache and heartache. A glass of ice water bumped into the back of his hand, and he gratefully gulped some down.

Beside him Eponine stiffened slightly and R felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He knew that Enjolras had to be glaring at him from across the room, and he wanted the floor to open up and swallow him whole. His chest tightened and he couldn’t think. Standing up abruptly, his chair screeching back as he darted out of the room. R tried to ignore the heavy stares of the rest of the group as he left. Before the door slammed close, he heard frustrated noise come from Enjolras, even amongst the sound of the others’ confusion.

Grantaire knew he probably worried Musichetta as he practically ran out the front door, and around the corner of the building. Crouching in the alley behind the Musain, he tore his hands through his hair, yanking at the slight tangles roughly. He allowed a pitiful cry of frustration and heartache escape his mouth as he tried to figure out everything.

He wasn’t sure how long had passed before he suddenly felt hands on his shoulders, causing him to flinch violently. After a second the hands didn’t relent, gently pulling him forward until his face was buried in a florescent colored scarf, which immediately let him know that he was leaning into Jehan. A second pair of hands joined the others, gently stroking up and down his back as he struggled to stop himself from completely breaking down.

“Don’t try to keep it in. Just let it out.” Jehan’s voice was soft but sure as they rested their head on top of Grantaire’s head. They used a hand to gently pry Grantaire’s own hands out of his hair as he started to realize the throb in his scalp from how tight he had been gripping his hair. Letting out a sigh, he slumped against his friend, letting the tears fall freely as he struggled to take in a deep breath. R wasn’t sure how long it was, but Jehan and the other mysterious friend stayed silent as they watched him gather himself. Slowly the angle of the hand rubbing his back changed, and R glanced up from underneath his eyelashes into Eponine’s worried face.

 “Do you want to explain what’s going on? We know you came back with Enjolras, shaken up, and he seemed mad at you for some reason.”

Grantaire froze as he the thought occurred to him. Did Enjolras know that he saw him with his girlfriend? Grantaire started to panic again, only to have his face gently grasp between Jehan’s hands.

“Breathe with me. You’re fine. Just in…. out…” Jehan repeated the pattern a few more times until Grantaire’s breathing evened out. He gave them a shaky smile, which was returned, and as they used their thumbs to brush away the tears on his cheeks. “Take as much time as you need. You don’t even need to explain if you don’t want to.” Grantaire gave a shaky nod, and took several more deep breaths.

 “I didn’t have to look very long until I found Enjolras. I just stepped out of the building, and he was standing across the street. He was also occupied by a very pretty blonde girl in his arms.” Both Jehan and Eponine let out a small ‘oh’, and an awkward silence fell between the trio, all well aware of his less then subtle crush on their valiant leader.

“Are you sure they’re together?” Eponine asked this quietly, clearly wanting more information, but also not wanting to hurt Grantaire any more than he clearly already was. Grantaire nodded stiffly.

“He kissed her on the forehead, and she kissed him on the nose. I kinda ran away at that point, but as the door was closing, I heard her say that she loved him. And I couldn’t really take it, and had to throw up in the bathroom. And when I was coming out, I kinda fell onto Enjolras, and he probably thinks I’m drunk right now. But I’m not! I swear! But I really kinda want a drink really badly right now, and I don’t know what to do. I’m in so over my head right now. And I can’t concentrate, because clearly they’ve been together for a while now if they’re already to the love phase, and I don’t know if I can take it. It’s been hell just watching him from afar, but I also don’t think I can stand it if he has a girlfriend. And I hate the idea that I’ve probably never even had a chance with him, and that he might have known that I saw him earlier. He probably thinks I’ve super drunk and a pervert, and I don’t know what to do right now.”

Grantaire rambled in to both Eponine and Jehan’s shoulders as he found his body shaking even harder, as well as his voice trembling. Feeling the familiar signs of impending vomit, he quickly and slightly roughly pushed away from the pair, leaning over to throw up the bile in his stomach as his stomach went through the motions of throwing up. After his body stopped rebelling against him, he found himself set up propped up by the other two.

“R, you gotta calm down.”

“You mentioned you wanted a drink. Do you still want a drink?” It pained Grantaire to admit it. He’d been doing so good recently; he hadn’t wanted anything in so long. Hanging his head, he nodded ever so slightly, and was immediately granted a smile from Eponine. “Then what song?” Grantaire, had almost forgotten. That’s why he’d started in the first place. He gave her a sad look while he searched his mind for the song that he was feeling right now. Finally figuring it out, he took a shaky breath. He got encouraging smiles from both of his friends, he hadn’t felt this nervous singing since back in middle school. 

 _“Hands touch”_ Grantaire grimaced as his voice didn’t cooperate with him, breaking at the first words. He stopped and took several deep breaths. _“Hands touch, eyes meet. Sudden silence, sudden heat.”_ Grantaire’s voice broke a second time, as tears prickled at the corners of his eyes. He bit his lip for half a second, before continued refusing to let himself break down. _“Hearts leap in a giddy whirl. He could be that boy….”_ Grantaire hesitated, taking a shaky breath. _“But I’m not that girl…”_ Jehan immediately had their arms around Grantaire’s waist, burring their face into R’s shoulder.

“Oh honey…” Grantaire swallowed sharply, not sure how to feel. He wanted to wallow in self-pity, but he didn’t want their pity. At least Eponine knew better. Gently, R extracted himself from Jehan’s grasp, and replaced their arms with his own.

 _“Don’t dream too far.”_ He sniffed, trying to stop the snot from dripping from his nose.

 _“Don’t lose sight of who you are.”_ Grantaire gave Eponine a watery smile as she completed the lyrics for him. At the same time she gently cupped his face and gave him a peck on the nose.

 _“Don’t remember that rush of joy.”_ R closed his eyes as he sang, leaning his face into ‘Ponine’s hand. _“He could be that boy. But I’m not that girl.”_ He swallowed several more time, trying to clear his throat, with little effect.

 _“Every so often we long to steal to the land of what-might-have-been.”_ Jehan spoke up, adding their voice, making the usual solo into a trio. Grantaire laughed a little, and wiped at his tears again, determined to enjoy this impromptu jam with his friends.

 _“But that doesn’t soften the ache we feel when reality sets back in.”_ Grantaire’s voice matched with Eponine’s as they sang together, and it was then that it hit Grantaire. She was probably thinking of Marius. She didn’t have any competition for him, but he was just so oblivious that he’d never noticed her.

 _“Blithe smile, lithe limb. She who’s winsome, she wins him.”_ Grantaire smiled weakly at Jehan, not surprised at all that they joined in on the more flowery language. _“Gold hair with a gentle girl. That’s the girl he chose.”_

 _“And Heaven knows… I’m not that girl.”_ Grantaire finished off the verse by himself, looking up to the sky sunset which was a brilliant orange color. Normally he would be itching to paint it, but now he thought it was too bright for the day.

 _“Don’t wish, don’t start.”_ Eponine picked up the start of the next verse, and Jehan came in right after her.

 _“Wishing only wounds the heart.”_ Grantaire smiled, even if it didn’t reach his eyes.

 _“I wasn’t born for the rose and the pearl”_ All three of them sang it, all thinking of some of the trials they’d had to go through in their lives.

 _“There’s a girl I know. He loves her so.”_ Grantaire hesitated for a second before finishing off the song. _“I’m not that girl…”_

Despite the number of hugs he’d already received from the two, he found himself pulled back into their arms once again. Jehan pet his hair while giving him the largest bear hug he’d ever received, including all the ones he’d received from Bahorel over the years.

“We’ll get through this.” Jehan pressed a kiss to his temple as after they said this, and then pulled away.

“And if you ever want me to kick his ass, just let me know.” Eponine gently grasp his face, and used her thumbs to wipe away the tears.

“You know half the group would help us.” Jehan added.

“Half the group would ask no questions if you walked in and said you needed help hiding a body.” Grantaire rolled his eyes as he spoke, and Eponine huffed.

“What are you talking about? I wouldn’t need any help. They’d be the ones coming to me for help.” Grantaire let out a small, genuine laugh.

 _“Do you want to hide a body?”_ Jehan sang this as they sidled up to Eponine, gently knocking their elbow against her ribs. This received an eye roll, as she gently pushed them away.

“Does that count as Disney?” Grantaire looked at Eponine, a smile starting to creep onto his face. Eponine returned it with her usual shark grin.

“No. That would fall under parody laws. So, it’s not Disney.” Grantaire jumped in on Eponine’s explanation.

“But it also means that it’s not from a musical. And you know what that means.” Grantaire and Eponine grinned at each other.

“You’re” They clapped their hands twice. “CUT OFF!” The pair fell into a giggling pile while Jehan rolled their eyes.

“Come on. Let’s head back to your place. We’re going to watch Pitch Perfect.” Grantaire smiled as he followed them out of the alley way. His mind still churned with dark, ominous thoughts, but at least he had friends who could always pull him out of it any time he needed their help.

**Author's Note:**

> The song Grantaire, Eponine, and Jehan sang is I'm Not That Girl from Wicked. Here's a link to it.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gS9Q_cbr9d8


End file.
